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Dead Silence

By: Lauren Stogner

For my mom, Sharon

Chapter One: The Natural Human Pattern

When I woke up, I had no idea of the impending dread the day would bring me. Of course, there really is no way of knowing. No, the sun rose just like it does every day; its soft rays falling upon me from outside my window. The morning dew shimmered on the freshly cut grass.

A beautiful day indeed, but not for me. Such days were a luxury I did not possess. I can’t remember the last time I went through a day without pain. The soft spring breeze, the birds chirping happily, none of those things existed in my world.

These are the things we often ignore, just expecting to happen. The natural human pattern. Yet, somewhere, this morning would bring tragedy. Someone’s someone died somewhere. Yet everyone else in the world would go on about their day, without as much as a thought for those people. Is it simply because they didn’t know the person, there for oblivious to what might befall them? Or is it just human nature to do so. The constant greed, and lust for more than what they have consume them every day, making their lives completely run by only what they want, instead of what someone else feels.

The lucky bastards, they don’t know how good they’ve got it. To be able to go about their days, to think that nothing terrible would transpire. No, not today, they’d think. I, on the other hand, wish I could be so blissfully ignorant. I bare a curse. The foolishly unaware might call it a gift, but it is no such thing. I can sense the presence of sprits, long departed from the world of the living.

Some are pleasant, and maybe just a bit lonely; like the girl that sits in my home room class. Others are angry and violent. Some just don’t want to leave, while others are wanting answers, but the worse are the plain evil ones. They all want my help, and to communicate with me. There was a time when I use to wonder if anyone else heard these belligerent beasts. My mum was the only one I’d told; save my friend Jack.

She was alarmed at first, but assured me, that I was special; that nothing was wrong with me. Then why; and this I wondered for great some time, did she tell me to keep it a secret?

If there is nothing wrong, then why hide? If someone wanted the truth then why lie?

As if that wasn’t enough of a burden, I can also sense the aura of the living. A random person walking across the sidewalk, one that no one would pay mind to. I can feel everything he’s feeling.

It’s this reason I hate school. Not because of the other broods, actually if I was any other typical high schooler I wouldn’t give a damn about them. Things become complicated though when you can feel every single one of them. If someone is sick, then I too feel the illness. Heart break, family drama, high school drama, you name it, I feel it. These emotions just flood into my brain.

I ran my tongue over my black metal snakebites. My limp body once again carried it’s self to the bathroom. I looked at the reflection in the mirror. My bright silver sapphire eyes dulled, by heavy black eye liner. Raven black hair fell down over them in jagged lines. I grabbed the hair spray, teasing it up in the back, and then letting the razored ends fall over my shoulders and half way down my back and chest. I looked at my emaciated figure.

I never really have much an appetite anymore. I pulled on my black skinny jeans and tight band t-shirt before walking out. The floor boards creaked as I walked. We lived in the old part of London, this house being almost 150 years old. I live with my mother, my dad had died, and of course my cat, Rina and my dog Chico.

“Raphael, are you up yet?”

“Yes mum” I replied.

I despised that name. Everyone at school knew better then to address me as such. I was called Lilly. I don’t know why, seeing how I’m a boy and all, but they started calling me that after I wore a shirt that bore a lily on it. The name just stuck I guess.

“Uh, Raphael you’ll be late, to school”

“I’m going mum” I said grabbing my book bag and keys.

I hadn’t taken the bus since I turned 16 a few months ago. The bus ride has always been a hay day for people’s emotions to escape from there proper bodies, and invade mine.

The music came blaring on as I drove out into the street. The lead singer from one of my favorite alternative bands screamed the chorus. My mum loathed my music. She never seemed to grasp that sometimes it was the tone of the voice that made you feel things.

I drove through the over grown trees and decomposing gates that led to school. I parked my car and stopped the engine. A part of me didn’t want to face the day, while the rest of me did want to see my friends. If I went, what would be different? Nothing. What would I face again? The same thing as always. I could never form any emotional attachments to anyone, because I could sense everything they felt.

Again, to everyone else this may have seemed like a gift. To feel and know exactly what the person you cared about was feeling, but trust me it’s no where near that. There is always that pain of knowing that everything is not okay. I’d never met a person that I didn’t feel. Sure there were some that were weaker then others. Such as people I never met, they might just be a thought in the back of my mind. And others, like my mum and friends, felt so real that I sometimes confused their feelings with my own, but something was always there. No matter how insignificant.

My legs, having been trained to ignore what my brain thought was best, walked me into the school. People are like little mice. They do the same thing over and over again everyday. Never once do they question why, but that’s what humans are like. Mice. Simple minded following the pattern.

It was almost time for first bell; hence there were a lot of kids in the hall. Walking in the doo,r I felt a wave of emotion that hit me like a blow to the stomach, so many filled my mind.

Why doesn’t he like me? Doesn’t she know I like her? Two emotions from a boy and a girl came in strong.

A boy strolled up to me dressed in red skinny jeans and a black V-neck. His mink brown hair concealed his eyes and fell down to brush his shoulders. Bright red highlights peaked through the brown. Two silver balls sat on his upper lip, and a single matching ring was on the bottom. I knew him of course as Jack, my best friend.

His thin but toned body stopped in front of me, a grin across his reedy lips.

“What’s up mate?” he said grabbing me around the neck.

We’ve been best friends since 2nd grade, and besides my mum, he is the only other person who knew about what I could do.

“So did you hear the news?”
“You’re kidding right?” I could already feel it from him, excitement over something else and curiosity.

“Well, there is a new kid coming from Germany, everyone is so exited, I hear he speaks English well” Jack spoke in his heavy British accent.

“Great Jack, that’s just what I want, another mind to invade my own” I could already feel the sprit of the girl standing next to me.

“Give him a chance” she whispered. She always wanted me to be happy, and enjoy my life.

“Aw, man don’t be like that”

“Sorry, but you know how I am…” the bell rang and everyone began dispersing and heading into their classes.

Jack and I ambled down the empting halls, our boots clinking against the cold linoleum until we reached our first period, gym. We stepped into the locker rooms and began changing into our outfits. Jack’s shirt seemed to glide off his smooth stomach.

We finished getting dressed and headed out to the gym. That’s when it hit me. I hated gym, there was a boy and he had some kind of condition. He was out a lot, but when he was here, I always felt it in the pit of my stomach, it manifested it’s self as my own.
“You ok, man?” Jack asked, looking concerned.

“I-I’ve got to go” I said running out of the gym and to the bathrooms.

“Lilly!” Jack called after me.

I stopped at a sink. Splashing my face with cool water I felt my heart race. I looked at my pale reflection in the mirror. Calm down, calm down. I reminded myself. My heart slowed down a bit. God, why me? Why not someone else? I took a deep breath before walking back out.

“Ow” I said colliding into someone.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t see you the-“ What!? I always knew when someone was there. I couldn’t feel anything, nothing at all.

The man just stared at me. He was a good six inches taller and had long light auburn hair that hung over his shoulders, and down his back. His face was emotionless and his hazel eyes seemed vacant. His slim body was covered in a tight chained vest and his pants had chains on them too. Yet, nothing emitted from him. Almost as if he were dead, but had no spirit.

“I’m sorry, it was my fault” he said.

His voice sent a shiver down my spine. Something was wrong with him, very wrong. This wasn’t right. My body didn’t react though; instead it seemed to be frozen, as if being held there, by his eyes.

“My name is Jezebel; I’m the new student from Germany”
“Oh- I’m Raphael, but everyone calls me-“
“Lilly” the name rolled off his tongue like a rain drop off a leaf.

“Yeah, how did you know?”
“Oh, I’ve heard a lot about you” he said turning his eyes towards mine.

“Are you ok? You look like you’ve seen a ghost?”

The dead girl’s spirit shivered beside me. “Get out of here, he’s not safe he’s-“. She was cut off. Her aura changing to someone enduring pain, what the hell is this guy?

“I’m sorry, if I scared you, but I’m nothing to fear” he said. I felt my body become mine again. Suddenly his once threatening demeanor now seemed charming and inviting. I felt drawn by some force.

“Do-do you need help getting to class”
“No I believe this is it, gym first period?”
“Yeah, that’s where I am”
“Oh, well, we wouldn’t want the teacher waiting” he said with a chuckle.

“Lilly are you-“’ Jack called bursting out the door.

“Are you the new student?” he asked stopping dead in his tracks.

“Yes, I am” Jezebel replied. Jack scooted closer to me, grabbing my arm.

“Come on Lilly, this guy is weird, can’t you feel it?” he whispered.

“No, I can’t feel anything” Jack backed off. I could sense the terror in him rising.
“Jack, please…”

“I’m sorry” he said masking his feelings some.

“So you’re an empath?” Jezebel questioned.

“What?, how did you-“

“I can tell by the way you’re acting. In Germany, I knew of one that lived near me, poor fella, he always seemed so distant”

“Yes, I am, an empath that is”

“Well what do you feel from me?”

“I don’t know” I lied.

“Oh well, that’s probably a good thing” he said turning away. He wore a long black coat that flowed as he walked. Jack looked over at me.

“What the hell was that about?”

“I don’t know” I said.

I didn’t see Jezebel for the rest of the day, and believe me; when I say that, I mean I didn’t sense, see or feel. What was wrong with this guy? Why was he so different? I thought getting into my car.

A shriek erupted from the forest near the school; a crowd of people were conjugated around it. My stomach lurched. The feeling of terror, dread, and sadness nauseating me. I raced over to the mob.

There, in the center, lay the body of a boy. His abdomen had been eaten out, his entrails strewn about. The scene look like it was out of a slasher movie. The bright red liquid gushed out of his body, his torso laid open, revealing all of his organs. The flesh, or what was left of it, had been torn apart with excessive force, enough to break every rib. A panicked look was frozen on his face.

The spirit was gone, no sign of it, or even of a life that had once been, almost as if it had been scared off by something horrid. I felt woozy and sick. Police cars now lined the parking lot. What the hell was this? It looked like an animal attack.

I couldn’t be over here anymore. I ran as fast as I could, trying not to cry. I headed to some bushes feeling ill.

“LILLY!” a voice called. A voice I knew, Jezebel. He was no longer wearing the ominous coat. He had to be cold. He seemed to look more normal now, not so shady and all. The coat must have given me that impression.

“Lilly, you need to get out of here, it’s not safe for an empath to be around the deceased so soon after their death, the spirit can over power you if you’re not strong enough” he said bending down to me.

“I-I” I said stuttering, feeling weak.
“LILLY!” he screamed grabbing me as I began to fall.

“Snap out of it” he said grabbing my face.
“I’m sorry” I said coming to.

Jezebel loosened his grip on me. The police were clearing out the crowd and making way to the body to throw a sheet over it.

“Second one like it, this week” one said shaking his head.
“What the hell is doing this?” the other said.

“Let me carry you” Jezebel said, picking me up. He was stronger than he looked. His arms were warm, despite the lack of clothing he was wearing, and I felt compelled to close my drowsy eyes.

Chapter Two: The Stranger

Jezebel set me down by my car; the warmth of his body was fading from my clothes. His head was cocked to the side, as he brought his hand up to my face.

“Be careful” he whispered. That same feeling I endured this morning returned. I was unable to move, as if being controlled. Something in my gut told me to run, run fast away from here, away from him, but my legs didn’t move. My heart told me to stay.

“Uh yeah, I will”

“See you tomorrow….Lilly”

“Yeah” I said feeling limp.

I got into my car as I watched Jezebel’s slender body sway as he walked away. My breath felt tight, caught in my throat. I shifted my car into drive and sped out of the parking lot as fast as I could. My head was throbbing.

I’ve had these horrible migraines since I was five. They use to be only a few times a year at the most, but in past few years they have gotten worse. By the time I got home my head was splitting. I had to hold onto the car as I stumbled out. My feet wobbled when I tried to move forward. I felt dizzy, I’m goanna faint. Knowing better then to remain standing I slid down against my car to the pavement.

“MUM!”I called in agony.

“MUM, HELP ME PLEASE” She came running out.

“Oh baby what’s wrong?”

“M-my head” I said grabbing the sides.

“Mum my meds please go get them”

“Ok, honey come on” she said helping me back up to my feet and walked me inside.

“Sit down on the couch” She said, helping me over.

Ever since they started getting real bad my doctor gave me medicines to help with the pain. My mum came running back into the room with the box. It was injectibale, I don’t know about you, but if you’ve ever had a migraine then you know if you try to eat or drink anything you’ll get sick. She got out the needle. I closed my eyes and stuck out my arm. She felt for the vain and stuck the needle in. I winced as I felt it go in and retract.
“Try to drink something” she said handing me a glass of water.

“You know I can’t”

“Hon you know that these thing can be brought on by dehydration, have you been eating, you look thinner?”
“My stomach’s been hurting”

“Ok”

“Mum, I feel sick, can you help me to the bathroom” the pain in my stomach nauseating me.

“Sure hun” She said helping me up.

I felt my heart beat pound in my head. She led me to my bathroom and set the glass of water down on the sink. I grabbed the sides of the toilet for support, feeling my head spin. She held my hair back and stroked my back as I got sick. God my head hurt so bad.

“Uhhhhhh” I moaned in misery.
“Mummy, it hurts”

“I know baby” she said wiping the tears away from my checks.
“Come on, I’ll help you to your room”

I stood up holding on to her for balance. When I got to my room I laid down, feeling the meds kick in. They always made me sleepy. I turned off the lights and closed my eyes.

“Mummy am I going to die?” my small voice asked.
“No sweetie, you’re goanna be ok” my mum cried as tears streamed down her face.

“I’m scared”
“I know baby” she said kissing my forehead. The ambulance crew loaded up my gurney. I watched in horror as my mother disappeared when the large metals doors shut. Two men dressed in the white uniforms, began to fuss over me.

One began to feel around my arm, then I felt a sharp prick as he inserted a needle. My vision was getting blurry and my eyes heavy. I fought to stay awake, but found it harder and harder to do so.

“Stay with us Raphael” one of them said, tapping the side of my face.

I woke up sweating. I have that dream almost every night. When I was five I got sick, really sick. I was supposed to die; I had to be shocked back to life two times. I had a caught a rare disease, one that I didn’t think even existed anymore.

The bubonic plague. I know, I know, that was a long time ago. Yes, it was, but it’s not totally gone, there are traces of it left. How I managed to come across it, no one ever figured out.

If one comes in contact with it, it can be fatal seeing how most doctors don’t know how to treat it (or for that matter even think it might be the cause). My mum had to prepare for my burial. She prayed everyday for me to get better, but everyday the doctors would shake their heads and say that I only had days to live.

The disease took over my body; sending me close to total organ failure, I was as good as dead. I was on a ventilator and several other life devices, but one day my condition changed and I started to get better. I did get better. The doctors all said it was a miracle that I’d made it out alive.

That’s when the migraines started, a side effect of the disease. That’s also when the voices started and the empath abilities surfaced. My mum was frightened, but said that maybe it was because I’d died and came back to life that I had a special relationship with the dead.

I can’t say that this would be better then death, I mean I deal with it everyday. There is nothing to look forward to, will I end up trapped or somewhere else. What determines this? Is my only destiny to end up as one of these poor lost souls?

I looked over to my bed side table, a missed call from Jack. That’s right, I was supposed to hang out with him tonight. I dialed his number and waited for him to pick up.

“Yo, Lilly glad you called, you going clubbing tonight?”

‘Where?”

“Club 9, Damien has something for us”

“Yeah, I’ll meet you there” I said before hanging up.

I got up and looked through my closet. I pulled out my club wear. Tight leather pant that were ripped all the way up, and a tight black vest that was torn with mesh covering it. I got my spiked collar and combat boots, and put on my black lipstick and headed out, but not before my mum noticed.

“Raphael where are you going?” she asked looking up from her book.
“Out”
“Please, don’t you should stay home tonight”

“Mum I’m fine, I just wanna get away from everything and have fun”

“Ok, but be good, don’t get in any trouble”

“Okay” I said grabbing my keys and hoping in my car.

Club 9 is in downtown London. It’s nothing big, just a small dance club, mostly over run with teenagers. It only served one purpose; it was suppose to be an all age club, so the cops didn’t really think twice about the amount of young people here. Of course around this part of town, they didn’t really care.

Most people just used it as a place to engage in sex, underage drinking, and of course drugs. Yet, to Jack and I,it was like a second home. No one judged us here; no one gave two shits when it came to our looks.

I parked my car and locked it before spotting Jack standing by the side of the building. He waved me over to him, and started walking towards the back. When we got around back Jack popped the bottle he had brought, and took a sip before handing it to me.

“Go ahead, it’s been a rough day” I tilted my head back and drank. I didn’t want to remember anything. I didn’t want to remember the gory images, and I didn’t want to remember his face.

The bitter liquid burned my throat as it went down. I didn’t care though, today was I needed to forget. I’d never actually seen a body before. Not even at a funeral. Sure, I’d dealt with my fair share of the dead, but never like this.

Those images were stuck in my head like gum in hair. The blood, the mangled limbs, what type of creature could do that?! This is London; there are no animals that have the power to rip apart a person like that.

Jack pulled out a bag with small white tablets in it. Looks like Damien had already been here. He handed me a few and I threw my head back, popping them in. I swallowed the pills and waited for the intoxicating effects to start. I didn’t even care what they were.

“What were those pills I feel weird”
“Damien said they’re a special mix, you’re supposed to get you really high”
“mmmm yeah” I said arching my back.

“Oh god” I moaned.
“Don’t do that” Jack warned.

“Why not?”
“Cause you look damn sexy right now, I might have to do something about that”
“Really?”
“Yeah” he said moving closer.

His emotions were strong, lust and desire. Jack and I never dated, but he was hot and I was high. Yeah, we would fool around sometimes just for the heck of it if we were drunk of high (or both).

His lips brushed against mine, and then he deepened the kiss, as he slipped his tongue into my mouth. I moaned with pleasure as his hand drew up my side. He moved his head down to my neck, kissing it.
“Oh god”
“You’re so fucking hot” Jack mumbled into my neck.

“Uhhhhhh” I screamed as he bit my collar bone.
“Lilly?” a voice called. Jack let a deep growl out before sitting up.

“What do you want?”

“I want to know why you’re taking advantage of him.” Jezebel accused.

“Of course I do asshole, what the hell are you doing here?”
“I was checking out the clubs and heard him scream”

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. What was he doing here? No I didn’t want to see him.

“Jezebel-I”
“Shh Lilly, you shouldn’t be doing this you’re going to hurt you’re self”
“I’m sorry I-“
“You don’t have to say anything Lilly” Jack said standing up.

“You think you know what’s best for him, you don’t even know him?”

“I know what’s not good for him and that’s poisoning him with drugs and vodka”

“Fuck you man” Jack said getting pissed.

“Lilly, you need to get home, it isn’t safe out here” Jezebel softly said.

“Yeah, I guess I do” I said, feeling the overwhelming need to leave here.
“Jack I got to go, I’ll see you tomorrow”

“Where are you going?’

“Home, I’m not feeling very good again, anyway”

“Okay, be careful” he said eyeing Jezebel closely.

“I’ll drive you home. I don’t live far from here” Jezebel said once we were out of hearing range to Jack.

“Oh-ok” He helped me get into the car. The drugs were beginning to wear off, leaving me feeling fearful, in danger. Who the hell is this guy, how’d he know where I was? And now I’m in the car with him.

“What are you?”

“What?”

“What the hell are you?” I said crying.

“I don’t know what you mean”

“Just take me home please” I said as we passed my turn.

“I’m sorry” he smiled.

“What?”

“I can’t do that” Suddenly the car turn to flames and his eyes turned a blood red.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” I screamed.

“Lilly, hey Lilly wake up” Jack said shaking me.

“What? What happened?”

“You passed out man” he said. I looked around, I was still behind the club and it was just me and Jack. Thank god, it was all a dream, most likely from all the drugs. Wow that was weird.

Chapter Three: Visions of Hell

The night was growing colder with each approaching hour, and as Jack and I were coming down we decided it would be better to sleep off the worst of the effects at home.

“See you tomorrow man” he said getting up, stumbling at first.

“Yeah” I replied.

I stood up and stumbled over to my car, before slipping inside and turning on the engine. I just sat there for a minute, replaying the night’s events. Why had I had such a bizarre dream? Well, there was the drugs, that could have, and most likely did cause it, but then again, along with the empath stuff there were dreams.

Dreams about people’s lives and deaths would come to me. As if letting me see what the people had seen. Even in my own dreams this thing followed me. There really was no escaping this was there? No.

I sighed and drove off. The winding roads that lead down to my house seemed unusually dark tonight, the trees almost alive, soft rain drops fell on my window, quickly becoming harder. Flashes of lighting penetrated the skies. I drove into my driveway. The lights were still on, no doubt my mother waiting for my arrival. I looked at the clock in my car. In blinking green it read 12:34, doom. Damn. I got out of the car and locked it, before hurrying in out of the rain.

Just like I thought, there she was in her bathrobe sipping coffee. Her eyes glared at me.
“There you are” she said before running over to me.

“Do you know how worried I was, do you know what could have happened?”

“Chill mom I’m only thirty four minutes late”

“It only take a few seconds over to worry me, I’m your mother”

“Can you not yell?”

“What? You hung over? God why do you go out and purposely try and kill yourself, after all you have been through, maybe you wouldn’t do stuff like this but apparently you do!”

“Mom, please”

“Don’t mom please me, go to bed”

“Fine” I said wobbling towards my room.

My head was throbbing. Damn, I thought, stumbling into the bathroom. The florescent bulb purred as it came to life. I looked at my face in the mirror, blood shot eyes gazed back at me.
“What are you looking at?” I asked myself.

The thunder boomed outside, as the approaching storm reared its ugly head. My chest rose up and down in the dreaded object in front of me. I could not take this anymore. I looked at my wrist, white scars lined them. I took a deep breath before screaming.

The air expelled from my lungs in the form of a tortured yell, as I threw the cabinet door open, pulling out my best friend. My pale and trembling fingers held the glistening sharp object. I brought it to my wrist, applying pressure.

“Raphael open this door, what are you doing?”
“GO AWAY!” I shrieked as I sliced open the faint scares.

Thick red blood gushed out, leaving crimson rivers in its path. Starting the water I held my hemorrhage wrist under it and watched as the water became a pinkish red.

“Please do not do this” my mother begged. Too late. I felt the pain released in the form of the blood spilling out, and once it had ceased I turned off the water. My mum has picked the lock with her bobby pin and flung it open.
“Why are you doing this?” She bellowed clutching my wrist.

“Baby, no. no. no. no, please stop this” She pleaded.

“Leave me alone” I said trying not to cry. Her fingers let go and she just sauntered away sobbing.

I went into my room, locking the door before lying down on my bed. I just want a normal life. But no, I had to have this gift, this aching, and there was nothing I could do about it. Nothing. I could not help it, the tears flowed down.

Why is my life so messed up? Why can’t I live like other kids do? I just want to be normal, to be able to go on everyday like nothing’s wrong in the world, to think that everything is going to be okay.

That teenage invisibility that the other kids at my school think they possess, and to be so blessed. To have only one voice in my head and no one else can enter it but me. To be able to pass by someone whose been crying and feel nothing at all, because their feelings are bottled up inside them. These are the simple things no body thinks about, no one but me.

My cell phone vibrated in my pocket. I glanced at the caller ID. Jack.

From Jack: You ok? I fumbled with the keys and hit send.

From Lilly: Yeah
From Jack: That is good, you going to school tomorrow???
From Lilly: Yeah, I guess so…
From Jack: Did ur mom find out?
From Lilly: Oh yeah
From Jack: uh oh
From Lilly: Not really just yelled at me
From Jack: Lucky my mom would kill me
From Lilly: lol yeah she would
From Jack: U sure you are ok :(
From Lilly: Call me

I waited a few minutes before the phone buzzed again, this time with an incoming call from Jack. I pressed talk and put it to my ear.
“You ok Lilly?”
“I don’t know, I guess I’m just tired you know” I said trying not to let my voice break.

“Come on Lilly I know you are lying”
“Jack, please don’t get mad”
“About what?”
“When I got home my mum, she just wouldn’t stop yelling and she was making me feel so guilty that I just, I-“
“You did it again huh?”
“I’m sorry” I said breaking down crying.

Jack hated it when I cut, because he use to when he was thirteen. He’d almost died from the blood loss, before he finally got help. It pained him to see what happened to him was happening to his best friend. There was silence across the line.
“Jack...”
“I’m still here”
“Are you mad?”
“No, not mad, but I wish you would call me before you do this, so I could talk about it with you”
“I’m so sorry, I’m a horrible friend”
“No you are not, stop saying that” I could hear his emotions through the phone, they seemed to travel down the line and seep through to me, disappointment and sorrow.

“Lilly don’t cry” he said.

”I-I just want to be normal Jack, I can not take this anymore!” I wept clasping the phone.

“Lilly, I know look, I got to go, but I will see you tomorrow right?”
“Y-yeah” I said calming down a bit.
“Okay bye and I love you Lilly, everything’s going to be okay”

“Bye, I love you too” I said before hitting end. Jack was my life line; he had brought me back from the brink of suicide before. I couldn’t stand the fact that I was hurting him.
“Jack I’m so sorry” I whispered, before falling to sleep.

BEEP BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP BEEP

My hand slammed down on the off button. Ugh. Morning already? Damn. I got out of bed and got ready before once again driving off to school.

Jack was waiting at the entrance.
“LILLY!” he yelled running up to me. He embraced me gently. The connection between us was solid, even in a simple hug I could feel it. Jack is probably the only reason that I even get up in the morning.

“You ok?”
“Yeah” I responded hugging him back.

“Lilly was there something wrong?” a voice said behind me. I could sense Jack’s aura change from a relaxed one to a protective and enraged one. His teeth were clenched together.

“Are you ok, you look tired?”
“I’m fine Jezebel”
“That’s good” he said patting me on the shoulder.

“What are you doing here?” Jack said stepping forward.

“Jack, please don’t do this” I begged.

“No, I want to know what this guys deal is with you” Jezebels face changed becoming cold and resentful. His eyes were set on Jack. Jack’s body stiffened with terror, as he stepped back.

“Now, now Jack, haven’t you heard of being nice?”
“Of course I have”
“Well, then I was just being nice, now run along I wish to talk with Lilly in private” Jack looked at me.

“Its fine Jack, I’ll see you in class” Jack’s eyes darted back to Jezebel before he took off.

“Ah, now that we are alone would you care to talk?”
“Sure”
“Well I knew the first day I saw you there was something about you Lilly”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, besides the obvious, there is something distinct about you, a charm”
“Uh thanks” I said, trying to conceal my blush.

“You know I don’t mean to be so unfriendly to Jack, maybe it’s just jealously that you and him are so close, you know I really like you Lilly, you are breath taking”

“Uh” I stuttered feeling my heart race. Was he coming on to me? He led me around the school where no one could see us.

“Don’t be afraid” he said holding my face in his hands.

He leaned down brushing his lips to mine. It was magical, my heart skipped a beat. Gradually, I came out of shock and started kissing him back. His hands gently slid down my sides holding onto my waist. Our lips moved together in pure bliss. When we parted I looked into his eyes.
“Well then, what a nice way to start off my morning” he said with a casual smile. I found myself at a loss for words.

“Well, classes have almost started. I will see you around Lilly” he said as he strode away, his hand caressed my cheek. My legs felt like Jell-O and my heart was still pulsating. I managed to walk inside where Jack was standing by the staircase.

“What happened?” he questioned.

“H-he kissed me” I answered softly.

“He WHAT?!”
“Yeah, Jack it was incredible” Jack looked furious.

“Why? Aren’t you upset?”
“No, I just can’t believe that he would do that” I knew he was envious of him.

“Do you like him?” he asked bluntly.
“I don’t know” I said feeling myself blush.

“I think so” I added softly.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought”
“Please don’t be mad at me” I begged.

“I’m not mad, but he doesn’t feel right, don’t you see that?!”
“That is just it. I don’t feel anything from him, it’s like a dream, I have no idea what he is thinking or feeling and it’s the most amazing thing I have ever felt, it’s like an escape for me, do you not see that?”
“I do Lilly, and that’s what scares me, don’t you find that weird?”

“Well, yeah, but there are bound to be people I can’t feel right, limits”
“That doesn’t mean you should go around kissing those limits”
“Jack please let me have this”
“Fine” he said before walking away.

“I don’t think he likes me” Jezebel said from behind.

“How long were you standing there?”
“Long enough to hear” my cheeks flush, for the billionth time today.

“So, do you like me?”
“Yes” I said looking away.

He leaned down kissing me again; I could feel Jack watching me from the stairs before running away.
“Be mine” he whispered.

“What?”
“Be mine Lilly” he repeated.

“You mean like dating?”
“If that’s what you want, then yes”
“I-I guess so”
“Perfect, now let’s get to class” he said, before smiling, and glancing in the direction Jack had fled to.

Chapter Four: The Hurt Sets In

I’d hurt him, and I knew it. He may have said that nothing was wrong, but deep down I knew he felt different.

Jack I’m so sorry, but this may be my only chance to regain some normalcy in my messed up life. Please don’t hate me, I mentally begged him.

I managed to get through gym. The entire time though, Jack stayed away from me, but never out of my sight. Was he doing this on purpose?

I looked up at Jezebel. His normally smooth and defined face seemed weary and sunken in. His skin was the color of a corpse, blue veins clearly visible through the almost translucent epidermis. Dark circles lined the bottom of his eyes, and his typical poised steps seemed sickly.

“Are you ok, Jezebel, you look a little pale and kinda tired” I said commenting on his appearance.

“Yeah, I guess I am, a little tired that is” he said with a slight chuckle.

.
“Lilly does it bother you that Jack is upset with us”
“Yeah”
“Do you regret your decision?”

“NO! I mean I should be able to do what I want, he doesn’t control me! He’s being an asshole” Whoa where did that come from? It was almost as if those weren’t my words, like someone was forcing them out my lips.

“Yeah, you’re right” Jezebel said with a twisted smirk.

“I just had to ask, so many times people think they know what they want, Hell they’d do anything to get it, but once they finally do, they regret it, maybe it wasn’t what they wanted after all” he said.

The bell sounded, signaling the end of gym, and everyone raced back into the locker rooms to get changed. I never really dressed out often, I didn’t see the point. I didn’t do anything anyways. Jezebel didn’t dress out either, something about it being a disgrace to put us in such uniforms.

“Well, I’ll be seeing you around Lilly” he said. He leaned down and brushed his soft lips against mine, the ecstasy shot through me again and I felt paralyzed.
“Y-yeah see you” I managed to finally say.

“Lilly wait up” Someone called after me as I turned to leave.

“What?” I asked turning around to see Jack’s golden green eyes set on me.

“Lilly I’m sorry for earlier I’m just worried about you that’s all” he apologized in one breath.

“Don’t be, I’m perfectly fine by myself!” I shouted.

“That’s not what you said last night, when you called me crying, Lilly you are my best friend and I love you and I don’t want anything to happen to you”

“I know, but I’m fine, really, I know when I’m in trouble and I can always count on you to be there and help me” Jack bit on his snakebites nervously before answering.

“Yeah you can”
“I love you Jack” I said, fiddling with his hand.

I knew that he despised hearing those words come out my mouth so effortlessly. He always told me; don’t say that unless you really mean it, if you throw it around then it means nothing.

“Don’t s-“
“I know, but I mean it. You’re like my brother, my own personal guardian angel”

“Well then in that case I love you too angel” We let our pinkies pull apart as we started to our next class.

When I got to English the teacher was just sitting there with a question on the board.

WHY DO YOU THINK YOU ARE HERE ON THIS EARTH?

She always asked stuff like that. Trying to tap into our senses and make us realize who we are. I wrote down what I felt, she never reads them anyway.

“Okay, now you all are going to read yours aloud”

What? I can’t. I don’t like being the center of attention. I can feel their eyes judging me.

“Raphael we’ll start with you” Shit.

“I really don’t want to”

“Come on” I knew there was going to be no arguing with her. I stood up and began to read what I had written.

“I don’t know why I’m here. Maybe I was a mistake or maybe I was a test. But personally, I believe that I was put here to be tortured day in and day out. I feel that everyday is someone’s idea of a cruel game, how far can we push him till he breaks. I don’t think I’m here to save anyone and I know that no one is here to save me. I’m not here to change anything or to invent the cure for cancer or to make a difference in the world. In the end all I’ll be is another head stone with the words RIP sketched above my name. Other then that, there will be no sign that I even was here, nor a sign that I cared or that anyone gave a damn about me. I’m not going to be a doctor or a nurse, I’m not going to be a rescuer, I’m not going to be anyone’s anybody. That’s why I can’t answer the question because I don’t have a purpose; I’m just a body walking around”

I sat down and hid behind my hair. The class was completely silent, to the naked ear. I heard all of them though, all their emotions.

Ms. Maxi had a stunned look on her face.
“Well, Raphael I think that you are a wonderful person and I think that none of that is true. I think each and everyone of you will become something great and change the world in your own special way. Sure it may not be the cure for cancer or AIDS, but somewhere along the line you will do or say something to someone that changes their lives for the better”

The sleeves of my shirt were wet from the tears that I’d held back during the reading. I had to bite my lip to keep from sobbing. All these emotions in the room right now were killing me. I had to get out. I couldn’t be here anymore. I got up and bolted out the door.
“Raphael!” Ms. Maxi called running after me.

“Raphael, please wait”
“NO!”
“Why not?”
“Why should I, huh? I don’t care, I really don’t. No one in there likes me they all think I’m a freak. I just wanna be left alone.”
“I can’t just let you wonder around the school, so you can go sit down in the councilors office if you want to wait till you calm down”
“Ok”
“It’s gonna be ok, sweetie, alright” she said patting me on the shoulder.

As I paced down the silent hallways I started to feel numb. My heart started racing. Fear, extreme fear, someone was running for their life, and they were close. Yes, death was coming closer, as screams filled my head. I felt like I was going to faint, then the darkness came.

“Raphael, Raphael honey, wake up” When I opened my eyes I was in the nurse’s office. There were ten teachers surrounding me. Jack was holding my hand tightly.
“W-what happened?”
“You passed out, Jack found you”
“M-my head hurts”
“You probably hit it when you fainted”

There was a loud shout and a commotion filled the room outside the nurse’s office.

“CALL THE POLICE! CALL THE POLICE! THERE HAS BEEN ANOTHER ATTACK” a teacher yelled as he burst into the office.

A few of the school secretaries screeched as the man covered in gore walked in. Blood dripped from the motionless figure in his arms. They were all fussing over it, but with the crowd of teachers around me, I couldn’t make out what it was.

“OH MY GOD!” One of them screamed, crossing her chest.

“I was going to get something from my car when I heard a scream from the woods” the blood soaked man said. As the teachers cleared out of the room to attend to the petrified man, what he was holding came into view.

In his trembling arms he held a lifeless body. Their stomach had been ripped apart, like the one from earlier. His guts were exposed and some of the teachers looked away trying not to get sick.

“Mr. Wilson there is nothing you can do, he’s dead”
“Call the police then, they need to do something about this!” he shouted.

“Lilly, let’s get out of here, now” Jack said.

I got up and escaped with Jack In the panic no one noticed me leaving. They were now placing the body on a gurney the ambulance crew had brought in. All the students were coming out of their class rooms. The teachers were desperate, trying to get them back inside.

“What the fuck is happening?” I asked Jack in a panic.

“I don’t know, but whatever it is, they need to catch it or kill it” The police were swarming the building now. A frenzy of men in uniforms swamped the still blood covered teacher.

“We want all the students sent to the multipurpose room, there is going to be a speech about safety while we go out looking for this thing. Animal control is here in case whatever this thing is isn’t human” one of the policemen voiced to his partner.

“All students report to the multipurpose room please” One of the teachers announced over the loud speaker.

The class room doors all swung open, and the halls filled with noise and running foot steps. Jack and I got there before anyone else, so we were able to catch a seat way up top. Once the room filled with all the students a police officer came up to the podium.

“Ah, hem. Ladies and gentlemen, as you may already know there is something out there in those woods. What it is, we’re still trying to determine. We just wanted to warn you all about not going out near the woods and never to go out alone, there will be a search of the woods today with animal control”

“God this thing really has gotten out of hand” Jack said. I could tell he sensed this place was killing me.

The amount of anxiety and fear in this room was more then I’d ever felt before.
“Lilly, you ok?”
“I-I’ve got to get out of here”
“Lilly wait” he called going after me.

I’ve got to get away from this. I closed my eyes running away from there. I wasn’t watching were I was going and ran into someone. I opened my eyes to see Jezebel.

“Lilly, you should be more careful, haven’t you heard, there’s something dangerous out there” he said in his cool voice.

He didn’t look so drained anymore. His skin had returned to its soft peach hue, and the lines under his eyes had disappeared.
“You look a lot better”
“Yeah, I slept a little in the last class” he said smiling.

“LILLY!” Jack called running towards me, before stopping to glare at Jezebel.

“They’re releasing us early so they can start the search”

Chapter Five: Lustful Friendships

“Lilly do you wanna hang out at my house?” Jack asked, as we walked out of the school.

“Uh, yeah sure, we can take my car”
“Alright, let’s get out of this shit hole” Jack said getting into the passenger seat of my car.

“So are you worried about this whole thing, do you think it’s some type of animal?”
“I don’t think it’s an animal” I answered in monotone.

“What do you think it is?” What did I think it was? I think it was some sick bastard.

“I think it’s a person”
“But their stomachs were eaten out, so what is it like a cannibal or something?”
“I dunno, maybe”
“Whatever Lilly” he said laughing, obviously not taking me seriously.

Of course that’s usually what people do when they’re fearful. They laugh; if you laugh about something it no longer holds power over you. To turn something into a joke makes it not real anymore. Little do they know, that only pacifies the mind, because if the fear is valid, they’re still in grave danger, and now their guard is down.

Jack’s house was even older then mine. I liked it though; it was a pleasant house none the less.

“Hey, my parents aren’t home. You wanna tap the liquor cabinet?”
“Yeah” I said smiling.

Jack unlocked the door and went over to the bar in the kitchen. He got out two shot glasses and a bottle of his dad’s Vodka. He poured the two and walked over to where I was seated on the couch.

“Here, ready? One, two, three” on three we both tilted our heads back and downed them slamming the glasses on the table. I was first by a second.
“Rematch”
“Beat you once, eh, I can beat you again”
“One, two, three” SLAM. I won again.

“Come on Jack, you gotta do better then this” I taunted him.

“Alright last time, one two three” SLAM. He’d won this round, which means time for the victory dance.
“Oh yeah, go Jack, it’s your birthday!” he chanted pumping his fist in the air.
“Hey I got two out of three”

As a result of our little contest Jack and I were both plastered now. He plopped down on the couch next to me.
“So what are you going to do now?” He asked.

“I don’t know”
“Wanna go up to my room?”
“Yeah” We both helped the other up and ran up the stairs, or at least tried to. We were so drunk that we ended up stumbling quite a few times.

“Careful Lilly don’t fall”
“I won’t” Once we’d finally made it up the small staircase we collapsed on his bed. I could barely think through my intoxication.

“You’re so beautiful” Jack said caressing the side of my face with the back of his hand.

I looked up at him; his eyes were even more intoxicating then the liquor. His lips brushed against mine. I’m not supposed to be doing this, I had a boyfriend, but I was drunk and he was hot. Jack climbed on top of me and undid my belt buckle. I reached up and grabbed onto his hair pulling him closer to me.

“God, you’re so hot” I mumbled into his skin.

“So are you” he said in-between kisses, his hands sliding up my shirt. I gasped at the feel of his cool fingers on my hot skin.

“L-Lilly you should be with me, not him”
“What?” I said ending the kiss.

“Well, I mean you can’t possibly not see that I want to be with you right?”
“I don’t know”
“Well I mean haven’t you seen the signs?!”
“Jack don’t make this complicated”
“I’m not, but I’m also not going to pretend that I’m fine with you two dating, he’s not right”
“Jack, you don’t understand” I insisted feeling the tears roll down my cheeks.

Why did everything have to be so difficult? Couldn’t I have one thing that didn’t bring me some form of agony or hurt? Jack stretched out his arms hugging them around me.

“I’m sorry Lilly” he said as I sobbed into his shoulder. I couldn’t count how many times I’ve done this. It had to hurt him seeing me like this. Yet even if he did, he’d just mask his emotions and hold me until my painful cries ceased.
“Shh, it’s ok Lilly” his voice was soothing to my ringing ears.

“My friend Greg told me that Ms. Maxi is giving us another project?”
“What about?” I was grateful that Jack changed the subject.

“Research a creature. He saw the list, I got demons”
“Demons?”
”You know the ones who make deals with humans and torture them”
“Oh”
“Yeah, anyway, I’ve got to get to work it’s a big part of our grade, maybe we can study tomorrow when you get your topic”

“Yeah, I better get home, before my mum starts worrying about me”
“Bye, Lilly” he said enfolding me in hug. His arms around me felt almost like wings, wings of my own personal angel.

I got in my car and drove down the road to my house. I parked my car in the drive way and grabbed my bag, throwing it over my shoulder, before walking inside.
“There you are Raphael!”
“You’re school called, why didn’t you tell me about these attacks?!”
“I didn’t think it was anything to worry about”
“Raphael are you kidding me!? People are DYING!”
“I know that!”

“Baby don’t be this way” she pleaded with me.

“Mum, I’m going to bed” I said, pushing past her, the tears pulling at the corners of my eyes.

When I got to school the next day, there must have been ten police cars out front. Protocol, one of them talked about, something having to do with making sure that no one got hurt or went out alone. Glaring at one of the heavy set policemen was Jezebel, his slender body rested against the rough brick of our school.
“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“These assholes won’t let me go get something from my car”
“Why not?”
“Cause it’s to near the woods”
“Oh”
“This is a bunch of bullshit, why are they so worried about these kids, you know the way they act, some of them are better off dead if you ask me” No matter how disturbing or cold his words may have seemed, he was right.

They were despicable and ruthless beings that went back on promises and stabbed the people they loved in the back.

“Come on we have to get to gym” I said, breaking the tension.

“Sure” he answered before putting his arm around me and walking inside.

Everyone was quiet as we entered the gym. Their emotions flew into my brain. Fear, confusing, anger, sadness, hurt, and a mix of other emotions that came with the deaths of classmates.

“Students, today we are going to show a video on safety instead of doing anything physical today” I didn’t really care either way. I wasn’t going to listen to some bullshit about being safe.

As far as it concerned me there was only one rule, run. I felt Jezebel’s piercing eyes on me.

“Hey, the teachers never watch us when there is a video on, wanna go behind the bleachers over there, it’s nice and dark” I said, wanting to get away from the mass of people.

“Sure” There were wooden bleachers in our gym for the parents and students during a basketball or volleyball game. Jezebel and I slipped away unnoticed. We climbed through the maze of iron bars that held up the wooden bleachers until we came to the middle.

I sat down, leaning my back against the wall. Jezebel took a seat down next to me, sighing as he did so.
“Have you heard about the new project in English?” I asked him.

“Yeah, I got Vampires, you?”
“I don’t know yet, Jack got demons” Jezebel’s face changed.

“Let’s not talk about him” he said in a cold monotone voice.
“O-okay I’m sorry”

“That’s ok, how could he stay upset with you, you’re so beautiful” he said running his long pale fingers through my hair.

“Please, I can’t believe you even like me, I mean you’re gorgeous”
“Well thank you” he said before leaning in and brushing his lips to mine.

His strong hands held my face, forming a perfect frame around it. Our lips moved together, he was such a good kisser. The kiss deeped as he slid his tongue into my mouth. He snaked an arm around my waist pulling me into him then the bell rang, causing us to break apart.

“I’ve got to get to class”
“Yeah, me too. See you later Lilly” he said before getting up and walking off.

When I got to Ms. Maxi’s class there was a letter on my desk, as well as everyone else’s.

I opened it up, and pulled out a slip of paper, on it in cursive letters were the words ‘your topic is guardian angels’. Guardian angels? I guess that’s good, maybe they’d tie in with Jack’s so we can share some of the books and study together, other wise I’ll never get this thing done.

Some of the other kids sat down and opened their letters. The girl sitting next to me got werewolves, someone else got ghosts.

“Hello class, I see you all got your letters, well this is the first day of October so I figured why not start off with something from the paranormal realm”

“Some of the topics are as follow: vampires, werewolves, zombies, demons, angels, trolls, ghost, banshees, soul eaters, and many others” The class groaned at the part following it.

“This is a big grade for this quarter so do your best” I rolled my eyes. At least we didn’t have to write some ten page report on a guy that’s been dead for 300 years. People aren’t interesting when they’re alive, and defiantly not when they’re dead, just a bit more annoying.

I managed to get through the rest of the school without much drama. I still hadn’t seen Jack, I hope he’s okay. I mean, I don’t want to have to do this project by myself. Of course that wasn’t the main reason I was concerned about him. I went over to my car; there were tons of “safety guards” out.

They watched me with emotionless eyes as I got in. Like zombies, they didn’t seem to feel much or care. Just did their job, what they were suppose to do.

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